Why do I feel like I don't really belong?

Erika Baum
Jan 29
1 min read

Updated: Feb 8

We are born wired for connection, needing acceptance from our primary caregivers to cultivate a healthy sense of self. If your primary attachment figures don’t fully accept you—warts and all—or are not fully present for whatever reason, you adapt, becoming what they need to feel a connection and ensure your basic needs are met.

In the process, you begin to believe that your true self is unacceptable, leading you to stop accepting yourself. From there, you conclude that no one else could possibly accept the real you either.

This becomes the root of your shame, trapping you in dysfunctional, lonely, and unfulfilling relationships. These relational interactions then re-enforce this adaptive belief, deepening and solidifying it.

You long for meaningful connections with others but feel uncertain about how to create them. Somewhere along the way, you lost yourself—or perhaps you were never given the chance to fully become your true self.

True intimacy with others and finding our tribe is only possible when we embrace and live authentically. Let's work together to help you heal.